It’s true, I am feeling very uninspired these days. I’ve been feeling for some time now that this place has come to be all over the place with no real focus or purpose other than for me to feel as though i’m getting a chance to put something out into the world. That would be fine if I felt that what I had to say was inspiring or of interest. Please don’t think that I am look for attention, that’s not it at all. I think i’m just realizing that i’m in a place in my life where I don’t feel like I have much to say. 90% of my life right now is spent mothering and the other 10% of me is trying to figure out who else I am in this world.
These last few months although very blessed, have left me drained and tired. Summer has been eventful and sunny but I am feeling oh so ready for the fall and the change of colour, weather and pace of life. Forgive me if this all seems sudden but I have been thinking about it for awhile now. My two little girls are growing up so very fast and with Lucy being almost two, I find her needing me so much more these days as she tries to navigate her way to independance.
I’ve been trying so hard to keep it together and tell myself that it’s fine, i’m fine, this too shall pass, and the harder I try to fight where i’m at, the more I can’t stand being here. I think i’m deciding to take a little break. I need to just be right now. Be with my girls, be with Ben, be with God, and be with myself and get back to doing some things that make me happy.
For now, I’ll leave you with this short clip from my all time favorite movie.. You’ve Got Mail. Although not a shop owner, and although my dad is gone and not my mother, this pretty much sums up where I am. Thanks for reading this and walking with me this last little while. Hopefully I won’t be gone too long before I find what it is I need. Bless you.