With Abigail still nursing, bedtime on my own still tends to get a bit hairy at times. I feel kind of bad for Lucy and I completely understand why some parents choose to introduce formula with subsequent children. I’m pretty determined not to, and at nearly 9 months don’t really see the point, but I do understand the draw to it. Especially when your two year old just wants some stories read to her while snuggling on the couch. That has just not been able to happen for us for a long while now. Abigail is usually toast by the bedtime rolls around and desperately waiting for her bedtime nurse. Our bedtime usually goes as follows..
5:50pm-ish Clean up and bed prep (get PJ’s, diapers, yadda, yadda)
6:15pm-ish Bath for both girls or straight into pyjamas and a feed for Abbie while Lucy looks at books and keeps trying for my attention
6:30-6:40pm-ish Both girls into their cribs for bed, usually whining and crying and then asleep within 20-40 minutes depending on how chatty they are feeling (they’re in the same room now)
I know I am not alone in this battle. Nursing while you have a toddler is no easy task and I find myself feeling guilty almost daily for still nursing Abbie while Lucy waits patiently or sometimes not so patiently. I love nursing my babies, I feel very blessed that I have been able to do so. Having said that, I will freely admit that I am looking forward to the time when Abigail will be weaned and bedtime is no longer the battle and fight that it currently is.
Nursing while I have had a toddler has had it’s benefits, that is certain. Lucy is far more patient than before her sister was born. I think she has had to learn patience, but also that the world does not revolve around her and her needs. Although difficult at times for her, and for me since I feel guilty, I think this will help her in the long run and has helped me find the balance between loving both girls and tending to their needs as equally as possible. My hats off to those with multiples and those with more than two children. I am exhausted. I might even cry about it. Or just puts my PJ’s on, eat ice cream and watch a girly movie. I am thankful for this season of life…and I am even more thankful that this is only one of the seasons of life. Ha!
God, you know my heart. You know that I am trying my very best to be the best mother I can be to these girls and how I still fall so short most days. Lord, make up for where I lack and let Your holy mother, Mary be close at hand for my girls when I just can’t do it all. Let them love Her more than me and know that She is the true mother of us all, perfect in love and gentleness. Refresh me, Lord in the rare but precious quiet times so that I might be ready to start anew the next day with your love and strength surrounding me. Help me to remember that I can do all things with You, and nothing of worth without You. Amen.