We are slowly getting our home back as the floors have been replaced in our basement. The trim work is about half done and the painters are coming on Monday to paint all the walls were drywall was replaced included the girls bedroom. I went in to the paint store to choose their bedroom colour, “true pink”, a very faint pink that I am hoping doesn’t look too bright in their room. Our days have been spent either entirely at home or entirely out at playdates and at nana’s when the carpenters have been here. Our living room is still filled with clothing, boxes, etc that need to be either unpacked or stored away but I know that we’ll get there eventually. Ben and I tend to be machines when it comes to moving, we are typically completely unpacked within the first two weeks but this time around, God was obviously trying to teach us something. Firstly do not own several dogs as they clog up pipes with their hair. Secondly that being in control is not important, unpacking isn’t important and doing everything the way you want and when you want is not important. Being together regardless of where God has you at the moment is important. About two weeks ago I joined the “Maximize Your Mornings” challenge through the Inspired to Action website. I’ve been getting up at 5:30 am (voluntarily) to start my day with God. Let me start by saying that I am not a morning person, I never will be. I like my morning coffee and wish we could be like silent monks until at least 9am. I like starting the day on my terms and not being woken up by my children crying or yelling out for me. I have been mostly staying in my pajamas and making my way up to the couch or rocking chair to pray, “God help me to love them like you do”. When I first started my early mornings the girls were still waking up at 5:45 am for some unknown reason. After a few weeks of that they have finally started sleeping until about 6:30 am. This gives me almost a whole hour to pray, check facebook, make coffee and sometimes get dressed. I’m a bit greedy with my prayer though so I am not usually dressed when they get up. It has helped me throughout this time of inconsistent days and mess around me. It has helped me keep the bigger picture in mind and remember that like everything else in this life, nothing is permanent.
Was everything perfect when we moved in? Did everything go according to my plans? No. But who cares? How I can I possibly care after watching this. I have been following some of the bloggers who are in The Philippines with Compassion over the last week and the things they have shared about their experience have just cut to my heart. We already sponsor a little girl from Bolivia as I’ve mentioned here before and I always wondered if someday I might have the opportunity to travel and see the way that she and so many others like her live. I sent an email to a friend of ours who works for Chalice asking if there were any mission trips coming up shortly and to my total delight and terror there is one scheduled for February 2012. In The Philippines. My jaw just about dropped when I read it. Everytime I think about it my heart wants to beat out of my chest. I feel drawn to it…but I am also completely terrified. Scared that I am too much of a wimp to handle the things that I know I would see. Scared that I will cry like a small child for the duration of the trip. I know I don’t have the strength in me to joyfully carry out a mission like that…only God. Only God in me can help turn my fears to courage and my sorrow for them to smiles and hope. The person organizing the trip is away and won’t be back until the end of June so I know I have time to discern this and see if they will even take me on but I ask that you please pray for me. Pray that God’s will would become plain as day. I know going on this mission trip would take me away from my husband and our girls for a week or two…but that is such a small amount of time in the larger scheme of things and I find myself in a place needing to reach out in a more tangible way that donating monthly. I need to hold those little faces, to pray with these people, to give them hope and tell them how very loved they are. This need in me is strong like the need to hold my own kids and it is intense. I’m not saying that this is for everyone or that everyone should go and experience this but something is telling my heart that maybe I am supposed to. I love the line, “Your courage asked me what I am afraid of, Your courage asked me what I am made of” in the song ‘I saw what I saw’ by Sara Groves. Actually the whole song is pretty much summing up the stirrings of my heart. Please say a prayer for this intention of mine if you have the chance! Also, have a peek over at Simple Mom, Passionate Homemaking or Inspired to Action if you want to read more about these womens life changing experiences in the Philippines.