Desperate

I am enjoying a rare quiet moment in our household. All three of my children are asleep in their beds and it is 1pm. I know it is a blessing, and oh wow, am I grateful! This Easter I decided to buy myself a new book I have been wanting to read since I first heard it was coming out. Written by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae, Desperate is like a big, deep breath of fresh air for a mama’s heart. I was so happy when Easter finally came and I could crack open my new book.

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I really feel like this book can help you whether you have one child or ten.

We, as moms, are all doing our very best to love our kids and give them the best start we can at life. My greatest desire is that my kids would someday grow to have a relationship with Christ. My hope is that they would know his undying love for them, his mercy and the amazing plans He has in store for them.

As their mother, I am the first Bible they are ever going to read. If Ben and I are loving, patient, kind and merciful with them then they will likely grow up believing that God is all of those things as well. If I am always cranky, nagging and grumbling through our days than how are they supposed to know that the God we serve is good and worthy of the many sacrifices we must make in motherhood.

I cannot give what I don’t have and if I don’t make time for myself, for my marriage and for my relationship with Christ then my tank is always running on empty.

That is why I am desperate. I am desperate for more of Jesus and His truth in my life. I am desperate for babysitters so I can enjoy the company of the amazing man who chose me and moved clear across the world to be with me and raise a family. I am desperate for mama’s night every month when it rolls around, to hear hilarious and wild stories of what is happening under other mama’s roofs and the antics their kids get up to. I am desperate for a latte and a good book or magazine in the quiet of Chapters all by myself every now and again.

I was supposed to go out the other night by myself to get a little head break and I just didn’t want to..which is not like me. I said to Ben, “Why don’t I want to go out tonight?” and he said, “Because at the end of the day it feels like you are just one more person YOU have to take care of. You are taking care of everyone else and you’re exhausted.” BINGO. It’s true. When I put myself last, I have no energy left to take care of anyone. When I make time for a bit of prayer, a shower, a coffee…everything looks different. Less stressful. More enjoyable. More peaceful. And don’t my husband and kids deserve that woman?

God is not a tyrant. He doesn’t want you burning yourself out and being a martyr, taking care of everyone else but yourself. God loves you! and me! Ridiculous, terrible at housekeeping, ungrateful, taking my crazy day out on my husband, bad cook, ME! and YOU! (insert all of your stuff here) YOU! He made us and He wants us to take care of ourselves because seriously? When we don’t take care of our mama selves, we are truly taking care of no one.

All of this to say…I am really enjoying my new book and I think you should read it too! oh, and I’m knitting Oliver some little mittens for next winter. I’m no longer behind on this year’s knitting. I’m on top of next years!

 

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